IITK – Two concerns

There are two things about IITK which keep cropping up every once in a while and I had been meaning to write something about them for a long time. First one is the issue of frequent suicide[attempts] by the students and the second one is the whole male-female interaction issues in the campus. First one gets a lot of media and alumni attention. The second one keeps circulating between the students and a select few alumni who, in their student days at the institute, were active on this issue.

Let’s take up the controversial matter of suicide first. Every time a suicide happens, there is a quick media coverage and there is an uproar on all the alumni groups worldwide as soon as one of these news items get forwarded. Why does institute not do something? For how long will it continue and the institute will be a silent spectator?

Let me be candid here. We are being harsh towards institute here and are overlooking the real reason which leads a young student, full of potential, to the desperate step of taking away his life.

The first thing to realize is that its not just IITs. Let’s think of the 10th and 12th standard exam results. Every year just after the results are announced, the number of suicides by disappointed students easily goes in double digit immediately. Probably many, many more do not come in media limelight. And wait! According to this report [PDF file, opens in new window] by National Crimes Records Bureau, in years 2005, 2006 and 2007, a total of 2283, 2378 and 1976 suicides respectively were done due to failure in examinations! Only the reported, official numbers. Actual could be much higher. Why? Yes, there are flaws in our education system at every level. There are a thousand things that need to be fixed. But you know what? The basic reasons behind these suicides can not be fixed by correcting the education system. What will you do? There is a race for marks and every extra 1%. So? Change it to a grading system? There will still be the race to get that next higher grade. Change it to a pass/fail system. Those who fail will still commit suicide. Have no concept of fail or marks or grades? You just go through the education and that’s it? The higher education system and the economic system will have to find ways to decide who is fit to go where. That will still not be a perfect system and those who do not get into what society values will still commit suicide. We can improve our education system, but it will never be perfect. Do we even know what a perfect education system is? And even if at some point of time in future, we will be able to devise a system that is perfect, that will magically eliminate the tendency to commit suicide, we can not wait until then to save young lives.

The problem is not the education system really. It is the mindset of the society that does not accept failures and helps in rebounding, that does not give a healthy, optimistic outlook for future to young minds, that only gives them a do-or-die option for all these “important” examinations. The family being the biggest criminal of all.

“How can my son/daughter be such a failure?”

Grow up moms and dads. Your child is an individual. He has his own strengths and weaknesses. And excelling in the exams you deem important may not be his strength. Heck yes. He can even fail. Don’t bring him up with the fear that his life and future and career ends if he does not get through those examinations. Don’t link his examination performance to your and entire family’s respect or disgrace in the society. And no – he does not have to be like this uncle and that cousin to prove his worth in the family. Come on. Somebody’s child will be at 90%, somebody’s at 60% and somebody’s will fail! Any of these could be yours. There is nothing like “how can it be”. Just like it could have been your neighbour’s child, it can be your child. Let’s give lives second and third chances.

And when it comes to IITs and ‘premier institutes’ in India, we are face to face with even more difficult set of parents. They have basked in the reflected glory of their child making it to IIT. In some cases with never-before-rank in their family/neighbourhood. Oh! Aren’t they on cloud-9? They don’t want to come down. There can be no looking back.

Sorry, once again moms and dads. All those who were at 60% and those who failed have been left behind your child now. Everybody at IIT is a topper here and a stud there. There will be those at 90% and those at 60% and those who fail! Oops! IITs have a relative grading system to normalize performance. Some will be 10 pointers, some 8, some 5 point someone and some will get Fs. Yes – in some cases it is an eccentric professor who causes this ‘F’. But that’s not the case all the time and even when that is the case, your child and his life are more important than the eccentric professor and the imperfect system. Its not worthwhile for him to lose his life to correct an eccentric professor. One is corrected today, the other will be born tomorrow. In some cases, your child has been neglecting his studies. But its absolutely not such a big crime that she should not get another chance.

“How can it be my child?” Just the way it was your neighbour’s child who did not make it to IITs in flying colors. It was not an end for him. He did his B. Com and an MBA and is a successful professional now. Its not an end for your child either. There is always that second chance. Don’t bother about the uncles and aunts and grapndpas and the neighbour giving that revengeful smile! If you have boasted too much about your child in past, it has been a mistake. Don’t let your child pay for it. Forget about the others, who would laugh at you. Concentrate on your child.

You know what the problem is? The society does not accept looking back; it does not accept that the the most glorious path need not be one suitable for an individual; it does not accept that you may falter but come back. If it started doing that, the results could be amazing. I have witnessed some amazing cases of ‘recovery’ [in want of a better word] in hopeless cases. Students with ‘F’s lined up semester after semester – they get their acts together and pass out decently.

As far as the system is concerned, it offers flexibility like hardly any Indian systems do. You don’t have to repeat a full year, if you fail in one subject or two or three or even all but one. You repeat only those courses you have failed in. There is nothing like repeating the whole year. If theses have been elective courses, you can choose a different elective while repeating. There are systems of warnings and academic probation and other things. These give ample time to the student to get their act together. What happens in most such cases is that the student can hardly talk to anyone in the family. The institute does a lot to create a support system. There is a counseling service. Faculty members get directly involved in some cases. And as mentioned earlier, I have personally witnessed some hopeless looking cases ending amazingly well. Not just getting through the system, but actually doing well at the end.

Only if it worked for more people. Only if it wasn’t just the institute’s responsibility and parents cared enough about their children beyond thinking of them as a ‘glory’ tool. Only if all these people could actually talk to their parents without feeling guilty and get an acceptance of their situation. Only if parents were there to support more extreme steps when needed (like leaving IIT and find a more suitable career elsewhere- what can institute do if that is indeed the best option?).

There is a system of branch change at the end of first year. Earlier there was a high CPI limit to allow branch change. The idea was to give students doing well a chance to change their department. I remember that during our times a change was brought in to lower the CPI limit and allow a branch change at the end of second year too. So, if you feel you can’t handle your department and are not performing well, change it. Despite the political incorrectness of the idea that someone performing badly in one department should be accepted in another department, keeping in mind the practical situation of students (the branches closing at higher JEE ranks create more pressure than those closing at lower ones), the system did introduce the change. I don’t remember there were any takers. The only thing it did was that more people with lower CPI applied for branch change to a “better” branch. Who will go back and tell their moms and dads that I want to switch from Computer Science to Physics! Sigh… I don’t know if the system still exists despite having no takers.

Let’s face it. Blaming education system, and academic pressure, and institute is not just unfair, its pointless and even harmful. These young lives are important and its high time parents and society creating all the pressure on them face some tough questions and stop looking the other way. The solution to students committing suicides after 10th and 12th board examination results can not be to allow them to cheat in the exams, can it be?

And now the less life threatening issue of Male-Female interaction on the campus. IIT Kanpur has historically been ahead of its time and society in dealing with this issue. Although I can see some “how-can-this-be-allowed” faces around, initially there were no restrictions on male and female students visiting the hostels of opposite sex at any point of time. It worked. Those used to a typical girls hostel should not think that girls lived in a constant terror of their privacy being violated. Just like you live at your home, you lived in the hostel – used to seeing male visitors around. At some point of time, after some untoward incident or something, a restriction was imposed between 12 midnight and 6 am on the entry of the ‘person of opposite sex’ (to quote the official documents). Practically, that too was only for the girls’ hostel and not for the boys’ hostels. That was still the practice when we had entered the institute. And then, after 40 or so years of the institute’s existence, after the world has come into 21st century, there came people in the administration who started seeing problems. At one point of time it seemed like even twin tower crashing would somehow be related to boys being allowed in girls’ hostel at IIT Kanpur! It has been downward hill since then. We had resisted then and it at least halted the idea of complete ban… But the slow damage continues to happen. I-card showing and signing in and having an escort and what not. In the name of security, a lot of restrictions are in place now.

The problem is that most of the society will not see what is wrong with this. The parents of new students will not see what is wrong with this. They are used to jail-like girls’ hostels and that’s what their notion of keeping their girls safe is. When we had entered IIT Kanpur, parents had questions about the ‘strange’ arrangement. The wardens and senior students had made them understand. The institute was leading the rest of the society. The society will not be able to lead the institute if it decides to go regressive. Which is what it has decided to do unfortunately.

Advantages of the open system? Purely from a girl’s point for view – you do not have boys putting sick bets for entering Girls’ Hostel. You don’t have an untoward curiosity about what the rooms of girls look like. It makes girls less of an exotic object, and more of a human for boys, who live like them only [although it is hampered a lot simply due to the male-female ratio in the campus, but it at least saves some lives!].

What do we worry about? Girls and boys having sex? Whether we should worry about that and to what extent can itself be a subject of debate. But even if we have to worry about it, is restricting entry into hostels a way of stopping it? You really believe it? What percentage of unmarried, young people do you think get into sexual acts in a hostel room? The percentage will be tiny. If this has to happen, it will happen. Restrictions or no restrictions on hostel can not do much to curb or encourage it.

Would somebody powerful enough in the administration get their head cleared about it and stop this irreversible damage? When I am stopped at the gate of each and every hostel on visiting the campus in the name of security, it stops looking like the campus I am so proud of! The sense of freedom I always felt there vanishes. Please don’t take away that wonderful experience from the new generation of students. What more can I say. I sort of feel hopeless about it now!

This entry was posted in IITK, Thoughts and tagged , by Jaya. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jaya

Jaya Jha is an entrepreneur, a techie, a writer and a poet. She was born and brought up in various towns of Bihar and Jharkhand. A graduate of IIT Kanpur and IIM Lucknow, she realized early on that the corporate world was not her cup of tea. In 2008, she started Pothi.com, one of the first print-on-demand publishing platform in India. She currently lives in Bangalore and divides her time between writing and working on her company's latest product InstaScribe (http://instascribe.com) with a vision to make it the best e-book creation tool. Blog: https://jayajha.wordpress.com Twitter: @jayajha Facebook: http://facebook.com/MovingOnTheBook

23 thoughts on “IITK – Two concerns

  1. Java: You have absolutely hit the nail here. I have been having similar thoughts and thanks for putting it so well in words. On both the topics.

    I am not sure if I ever told you (a lot of my friends have heard it), but I was a “failure”, at some point of time, and I did bounce back and rather comfortably. I have to place a lot of credit on my parents and friends who gave the same view you present here and let me understand that specific achievements alone don’t determine what you end up with.

    All said and done, I wish all the 1 billion people in our country could read your thoughts here. That would change a lot of outlooks in our nation.

    • The blog misses one very crucial point. Quite a few parents don’t know that failing a course and even getting under academic probation will still give student a fair chance in real world. My parents for instance didn’t. And I myself didn’t. In fact, most of my neighbors and relatives thought I was in some ITI college. I didn’t get a job in campus placement and my uncle (phoopha ji) told my father that I should try as Para Teacher (primary school teachers on contract with salary of Rs 3000). My father never let me take education loan, partly because he was unsure that with my failing few courses, will I get a job and will be able to pay back the money. We had seen far too many examples of toppers in school and colleges struggling to find a job and wasting years in preparation of government service exams.. So, while parent’s won’t want their kids dead, they will still be harsh and hard on their wards and you can change that only slowly. (when they see and hear examples of student’s succeeding despite setbacks)

  2. I still remember those fights you guys had with the warden. All the tehelka expose’ and all🙂
    I think the suicide has increased since ragging was completely stopped and strongly believe it is the reason

    • Ragging has been an identified cause of suicide and now the law prohibits it and any sensible person should not advocate ragging as a means to decrease ‘suicides’; in fact it adds to a few ‘homicide’ as well.

      • Ragging in IITK was different. (It was more like Introduction with Fun). Absolutely no physical. Only Questions and Answers and some request for dance/singing etc. If seniors sensed you were getting uncomfortable or will cry etc, they will excuse you immediately and will even apologize for it. They will ask a lot of questions, which will challenge your sense of morality and what you have been taught till now. But isn’t that part of growing up. And they help you bond with your batch mates and seniors .. You realize that they are not so different than you and share some of the same fears and dilemmas that you have. My best senior friend was a senior who looked a lot younger, danced very well and I was asked to rag him (by his friends). He acted afraid, did whatever I said. I even made him dance and then gave it back all to me. And it was funny .. Of course there were incident which made me uncomfortable but we were never asked to do anything that we didn’t want to. And if you managed to please a senior and get his name (called intro), then things can’t get better. They will become friends immediately and you develop a special bond. You could intro by your wit, of with your skills (singing/dancing/poem or even memory power) or anything that impressed them.
        And finally it was just three weeks. After that there will Fresher’s Party and you will all be friends. I feel by stopping all these interactions, administration has done a great de-service to students.

  3. I agree to all of your points here, Jaya. If you have the time and inclination, I’d recommend writing a concise version of this post and emailing it to a couple of professors. Regardless of the emails, a shorter post will get a larger readership and circulation.

    About the boy-girl interaction, has the situation worsened from the time I left campus? (Showing your I-Card and signing the register upon entry & exit).

  4. Nice article ! I think you have good writting capability compare to many other generalist.In my opinion there should not be pass and fail system upto graduation .Students can be promoted to higher class unless the student ( or parents in some case ) want to continue in same class for one more year.Studies shouldn’t be job oiented but it should be knowledge oriented.Also gradution degree shoud be started ( equivalent to B.E. and M.B.B.S. )in sports, singing, driving, cooking, painting, culture, hand-crafting and other innovative arts so that student can graduated in the field of there interest.The society is completed with not only engineers and doctors but people with different speciality.We are the force of more than the billion, we can be no. 1 of the world in each an every field.

    • Hi Nagesh,

      Bangalore University is offering degrees in Music since very long time. There are couple of art schools in Mysore, Bangalore and Davangere which are offering Diploma in Arts (painting). I was reading in newspapers that Chitrakala Parishad is permitted (?) to award certficates to students (which is equivalent to degrees) in arts (painting discipline).

      Lot of colleges are offering B.P.Ed but its usefulness is doubtful.

      But your thoughts are really good it is necessary to redraw our Diploma and ITI certificate course syllabus.

      Long time back there was LMP degree (you can call it some what diploma equivalent). But it is all the more necessary to re-introduce that degree.

      • regarding medical degrees, I have been pleading with authorities since 1992 for reintroduction of LMP(not to mitigate ‘suiciderate’ but to provide medicare to majority of Indians who live in rural/slum areas) and am happy that in some or other form Rural MBBS of 4-years is on offing as per nrewspaper report I dsaw only 2 days back.
        You are right that society is not completed by a few professions rather counseling for ‘professional’ and ‘vocational’ aptitude on similar line must be provided whoever can.

  5. Hi
    I agree with the point about the society not willing to look back. But I think slowly things are changing . The quote in my son’s 3rd standard book says “I did not fail. I merrily found 10,000 ways which did not work — Einstein” . With this kind of advice from an early age I think people will be better accustomed to deal with failure than most of us

  6. For long while no new blog …..

    Also you should know my nanihal is Bhramerpur.I know Shekhar Nana , Puddu Mama , Bhictor and you very well.You might not be knowing me.

    You are my role-model and I am great fan of you.Please write atleast one blog in a week.It is good to read those.

    • I had been to Bhramarpur twice in connection with some rural awareness program.
      I wish some youngersters like you take up the issues concerning to the uplift of your profession as well as your village and around.

      • Dear sir,

        I was on tour of Bihar for last 15 days.This was my first visit after three years and I found that the things are changing.Change is a process which takes time . No one can change the society single handedly.My grand father Acharya Hridaya Narayan Jha ” VAIDJEE ” ( Freedom fighter , congess leader , Ayurvedic doctor , Jyotishacharya and close friend of former railway minister Late Lalit Narayan Mishra )has done lot for our district Madubani.But now nobody remembers him.

        Also grandfather of my maternal uncle Late Narayan Jha ( Landlord for Bhagalpur and kosi commisonory , later juri member of Bhagalpur Court ) has lot of good work for the society but people forgot his name too.The work for society is concern of government because we pay them taxes ( Income tax ,sevice tax , sales tax , excise duty ,import duty ,house tax etc. ).

        Mean while you should know we ( four brothers ) are running a company K K SOFTWARE SOLUTIONS ( P ) LIMITED , which is distibuter for Microsoft and other softwares ( turnover 149 cr. 2008-09 ).After visiting Bihar this time I am interested in opening a brach in Bihar.Apart from paying taxes we will do our best to improve our society.I ( B. E. in mechanical engg. ) think best way is teaching and generalism ( which I have started by blogging initialy at http://www.kislaynagesh.wordpress.com ).

        Thanks & Regards

        Er. K N JHA

  7. The Zen master Hakuin was praised by his neighbors as one living a pure life.

    A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.

    This made her parents very angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Hakuin.

    In great anger the parents went to the master. “Is that so?” was all he would say.

    When the child was born, the parents brought it to the Hakuin, who now was viewed as a pariah by the whole village. They demanded that he take care of the child since it was his responsibility. “Is that so?” Hakuin said calmly as he accepted the child.

    A year later the girl-mother could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth – that the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fishmarket.

    The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask his forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back again.

    Hakuin was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: “Is that so?”

    — Zen Koan.

  8. While searching Jaya whom I met in 2006 at Bangalore, I came across her blog. Nice she writes as she speaks though not necessarily I do agree with all she wrote, not because she did not agree on some of my points regarding Mithila state but because the generational change in attitude though looks pervious one must remember that this (Hindu)civilization of ours in too old to say precisely and we have to remember that the answers to many maladies rest more going away from the ‘norms’ than ‘sticking’ with some of them.
    Let me exemplify it. Only yesterday I read in a Hindi daily(Hindustan) that a doctor son(Amit Jha)of a senior officer Jatashankar Jha committed suicide in a Ranchi Ashok ashram apartment for his failure in marriage with some Aparna Pathak daughter of other senior officer working in Delhi with whom a divorce petition was pending on court for judgement.
    Apart from titles that they are from my Maithil Brahmin clan, I do not know them bit share a point with the victim that when I had my failure in marriage in 1989,with my lovely MBBS wife who thought I would earn; I wanted to commit suicide and place and mode too I had decided,’ to jump in sea from the rocks of Vivekanand Rock,Kanyakumari,” (I had collected in 1963 when I was only 8 years old, some money by selling 10 paise stamps at my home town, Forbesganj on Indo-Nepal border, where probably Jaya too had studied)for which like a squirrel for putting some sands bringing on her body when Ramsetu was being made). I thought to write my views as ’ suicidal note’ my autobiography (though written those 169 pages then and due to Advani’s PS Chopra’s saying of protocol of 15 days when Advani was DYPM, it could not be released and in ‘suspended animation’ that ‘The Autobiography of an Unknown Medico’ is enlarged to 368 pages with no publisher).
    If a boy is given a ‘constructive mould’ suicide can be decreased.
    After all why hankering for IITs itself! When we were students(in 1970 I had SSC) I was not aware of IIT. Modern IT has widened the awareness. Whether it has also not increased ‘ rat race’ for physical things.
    Unless the modern advances are joined with the ‘spiritual satiety’ crimes of every type will increase including ‘suicide’,(which according to a great philosopher Chesterton, a friend of G. Bernard Shaw, “is the greatest crime because it makes any crime to be done impossible)”
    Therefore one should train is/her child to(and first himself/herself) to be satisfied with whatever results or things could have.
    Then the intellectual objection will be that without competition progress will be halted. Well, one should be therefore trained for ‘healthy competition’ like games.
    And finally, there are some ‘ suicidal trailts’ ,I feel genetically endowed too which needs taking consultations from trained psychiatrists(or mature persons and friends).
    If any boy/girl says ‘wants to commit suicide’ he/she needs immediate treatment with antidepressant drugs. Any such uttering should be taken seriously.

    As a doctor I face such cases and know in the vicinity of Shyamali colony(where DAVJVM,now only DAV,and DPS school where Jaya too studied probably) such case are not infrequent. So much so that one of my senior friend, a retired GM of SAIL, RN Chatterjee had for long taken the project of counselling of such students. One of the causes of such cases are guardians high expectations. True, in this colony where scores of IITians/BITians(in previous days BIT Sindri and or Mesra had almost equal and even better reputation than IITs when they were in their infancy) work forget that even if they were ‘toppers’, among the new students of such high reputed schools will have only one ‘topper’.
    And every son is not like Syma Prasad(of Asutosh Mukherjee) or Amarnath Jha( of Ganganath Jha) or Damodar Thakur(of Pushkar Thakur). Whether intelligence has any relation to genes. Human Genome Projects said ‘No,’ but I had doubt and in one of medical conferences, famous Indian geneticist, Dr. Das Gupta, was non-committal on my query and now some papers are coming that this does have relations.

    In 1977, I had visited Vashishtha Narayan, topper of Higher Seconday in Bihar who was then famous mathematician and was admitted under the care of Dr. Davis, at Kanke ,Ranchi. I asked Dr. Davis relationship between ‘intelligence and insanity.” He explained something then beyond the scope of a IV Year MBBS student but he appreciated me. He told me that Vashishtha ill health has a bearing from his failed marriage (with a lady from maybe some high up, he himself was a son of policeman and could get into Netarhat School).
    While returning from Kanke, I went to meet Dr. H.C. Mishra(of Jaya’ neighbourhood, Gosaigaon village) . He had been very affectionate to me since my ISc days and he even had corrected my notes on Air, water,etc. Dr. Mishra told me that Vashishtha’s problembs were due to high expectations from him (Vashishtha had joined ISI but could not produce the required number of research papers).
    Then I asked the same question from Dr.KC Prasad, just retired now as HOD, Mathematics, Ranchi University. He told me that when Vashishtha was admitted in the Science College,Patna(then aspiration for any brilliant student of Bihar- I too got an opportunity but could not take admission due to several abscesses in body) Vashishtha was allotted a room in the Faraday House there besides his. That year MSc batch was not good enough and once the famous teacher, Narendra Nath asked some problem which could not be solved by MSc students. He had just other class in BSc I and he put the same problem which was solved by Vashishtha. Pleased Narendra Nath recommended Vashishtha’s name for special Honours examination ; University did so arrange only for him; he was spared of pass subjects’ papers of chemistry and physics; Narendra Nath used to come to hostel to guide Vashishtha for Math (Hons) papers and he got honours and then went abroad and then the story of joining ISI, marriage with a Bengali girl(probably) coming from an aristocratic family and his mental breakdown!
    So what was the cause- his genes, his sudden uplift in academics, his failures in expectations from ISI or failure in marriage by accomplished wife- one or some of them or all!
    Probably all have contributed.
    See the change in society in one generation. By the time Jaya passed Class X, Science College did not remain Mecca for brilliants- it became CBSE DAV/DPS.
    Guardians aspired more than students for their child to join IIT. IIT coaching has been a 500 crore rupees industy- more famous than Kota cement. ( Now they will turn to +2 80 percentile business!)
    Prof. Yashpal was saying yesterday on TV that Indian IITs should diversify to attract talents other than from coaching group and so 80 percentile has been said(not per cent but top 20 per cent students of any board can appear for IITs). Kapil Sibbal has to refrain after Nitish wrote a letter that 80 per cent marks will obstruct rural Biharis to enter into. I feel Bihar Board should amend itself to give equally higher marks as do CBSE Schools and GOI should see all boards mark at equal grade for the same pattern of question.
    I know an honours in medicine(75 per cent marks do fetch an honours in medical subjects ) is as difficult as to get a first class in English in BA/MA. Because the examiners themselves had not got that mark will not award to any student.
    I said once at Kolkata, only examiner of Dr.Rajendra Prasad was honest that he found ‘examinee better than examiner,’ while in fact every class has at least one student better than the teacher lest the students become doctor, engineer and teacher retiring at the same school.

    I am surprised why so much importance to IIT itself. . Raman, Khorana,Venkatraman were not products of IIT. Any IIT/AIIMS is not out of India. Indian taxpayers have been bled to shape t you and you should be conscious of that responsibility. It is not a station to go abroad for some petty gains.

    Brilliant students like Jaya did not opt for research but became manager. Many IITians find such fabulous job in the market more on their other talents than the talent based on PCM/ engineering skills. Several go to IAS- this years’ topper is an IIT,Roorki girl.
    The mad rat race to materialism wil hamper the growth of science.

    Any student once admitted to any institute may not maintain the same rank and as said Fs can become better. Who can be better F than Einstein himself?
    Students should evolve self help group to reduce rate of suicide and institutions should make committees to help stressed students Teachers too need counselled for not making students stressed.
    If any such self help group is formed anywhere I will be happy to share my experience.

    2nd part of Jaya’s blog on permitting friends of opposite sexes in hostels, may have some impact on generational shift but while co-education has been welcomed by the society, co-habitation is not seen on the same line. Every society has its own value/ Laxman Rekha and any institution runs as per its norms. While such an advice may remove some angularities, it may add some unwanted and maybe adding to a few more cases of first problems(‘suicides’).
    Whether whole day meeting in libraries and college rooms are not enough that visiting hostels still needed?(Do not be mistaken I also had visited my girl class friend’s hostel’s visiting room- now she is a roaring practitioner of her locality, but let me say had we gone more closer, I might have to find Vivekanada rock even earlier. Remember once such friend do not comply to other’s emotion, she is like a rock herself!
    Ous is not a permissive society and TV mediated soaps offering such models will increase rift in friendship and more failures in marriage than pleading for ‘openness.’
    I recall in an episode of AIDS International Congress. When I almost chided Nalini Singh, the media person, ’Chairing the session you should not prophesize distribution of condoms over ethical norms,’ when some Bangalorean Mod –Women activists had objected to me saying,” As mother in law we will give condoms to our daughter in laws.”
    Hostel visiting of friends of other sex need some prohibitions and institutions should take care of that as per their norm.

  9. Dear KN Jha,
    I will reply redsing your site human computer and brain.
    Vivekananda said,”give me few dedicated, I”ll change country,’; I am a small person,”I need many of you to even start changing..”

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