“Does not matter how brave you are. Being a girl, you would be a liability on others.”
And it ended any reasoning, any arguments. It was indefeatable. It keeps coming back to me. Like a Ghost. Unpredictable. Do not know what triggers it at any point of time. But whenever it does get triggered, it brings back the same disgust. That feeling hasn’t subsided even a bit over the years. It stays. And if I have ever shown courteous behaviour to you, and will ever show it again – it will be fake. If there is a reason I will show that courteous behaviour, it will be that I want to keep off my real feelings even from myself. The level of hatred is difficult to bear continuously for my own mental health.
But hate you I must. No, I would not even try to forget it. If I forget, it will be a crime. You and the likes of you are still around and in good numbers. Many a times not as crude and direct. But that does not change the situation. And whenever I have a chance, you will have a lesson. I promise.
It has come back to me today too. I hate you. If ever anyone has hated anyone else, I have hated you.