Feminism – Once Again

It *had* to come after Mars-Venus Saga(?), isn’t it? šŸ™‚

Focus this time is “Feminism: Are we worse off?” at

The idea presented is perfect. The whole idea is that one should have choice.

But what is problematic with the above view is its restriction to the women. Choice should be there for everyone – not just women. And not just in notional sense, but in real one, where no taboos are associated in choosing what is unconventional by current standards either by men or by women.

One argument that comes up is that women today have the choice for getting “freedom” in the real sense. Why not use it?

There are two objections – first one is assuming that this choice is going to be established in an ideal fashion in the society. In that case if the choice lies only with women, it is an injustice against the men…

Even if, as a woman, I keep this philanthropic consideration aside (when men do not mind, why must you!!), there is another practical one. Imagine next time there is a problem in looking after household and somebody needs to stay back, who would it be? “I do not have a choice, you have one – you see. Why do you not exercise it?!” Ahem! Where is the choice really?

Yep! A choice only for women would be unsustainable… If we talk of choice, it must be for everyone.


12 thoughts on “Feminism – Once Again

  1. Jaya,

    the point presented was definitely about the choice one has to have in life and yes, it was restricted to women.

    I too agree that both men and women should have a choice or an opportunity. Call me a feminist or whatever you would want to, but just being frank what could be the proportion of freedom (of making independent decisions) of men and women in India?

    How many women are able to make independent choices/decisions in their life?

  2. …ok, let’s consider the same example that you gave in your post- i.e., if one has to stay back at home and look after the family, then it definitely has to be the woman/wife (at least in our country) no matter whether she is willing to forsake her career or not. She has to give up and that’s what everybody expects her to do… including her very own ‘loving and caring’ parents. Then who is really there to understand her, her feelings and ambitions? so, even if she wants to have a choice, she can’t because there is actually no choice for her. Now, it’s a different issue if she goes against her family’s and society’s expectations to carve a niche for herself (to give herself a perfect identity other than being someone’s daughter/wife)

  3. freedom of(or) choice may be completely sensible and attainable for women like you who have the opportunioty to stay away from home with much enjoyable independence because you are not answerable to anyone as such.

    But back home, women like me have to fight for their freedom. I don’t say that girls don’t have freedom these days. I do. But, not as much as I would really want to have.

    Basically, your view of choice- making can be different from others. The solution as given in that article is mostly correct, given that menm and women should have rational thinking. But, then who is going to change the age-old conformism still prevailing in our country and in many other parts of Asia?

    Finally, a small dose of feminism here and there cannot change the society in any way. Each and every mind-set should undergo a vast change.
    (If possible, just read the recent post on my blog which is if not totally, somewhat related to feminism(?) )

  4. I am afraid you got me slightly wrong Indu. I am not endorsing what the article says. While what is says is fine from theoretical point of view, it won’t work in practice is what I am trying to say. Because if this “so-called-choice” is given to the women, they will always be forced to stay back at home and the whole idea of choice is gone!

  5. Every one chooses, resigning is also a choice. Human being are the worst creatures for they can’t see simplicity and reality. Everyone in his/her constraints does what is best for him/her. The problem is in the judgement, for belief that we have knowledge to judge what is right or wrong. The problem lies with intellectuals…. their belief is result of first judgement at some level that they are “intellectuals” and this belief leads to nothing but misery.

  6. Hi jaya,
    I was just surfing and stumbled upon your blog! Ms. Indu is quite good feminist, I think!
    My own thinking is that, instead of being idealistic, we should be realistic.
    Ideal condition is that, Men and women should have equal opputunity and choice of everything they desires. But noone gets everything and everyone has to loose something to get something.
    The ideal condition could be achieved, if there was no concept of family, marriage, men-women relationship etc. But in reality, Practical life forces any person to think against the ideal situation.

    Take an example of both of the person in family working. If you see real life situation, those type of families have several problems relating to kids, maintainance. This type of situation is achieved in slightly better way, when women gets enough time and energy after doing work(like if she is doctor and she decides her schedule on her own), but in general, tough.

    Other problem is at workplace. You must have heard that in reality,many working women has very difficult times at workplace, working with men colleagues. This is now a days more common. Any woman can say, this is the problem with men community, why should we bear? There is a reasoning mistake in the question! People do big mistakes when they think about “should”. Whereas, people should think about what “is”. Noone can ignore the realities. Anything which happens at system level or mass level has the cause which is at system level and mass level. If people think that this could slowly be changed, it was worth trying. But see it on world level, where women has got much liberalisation. Situation is worse than india. You can’t blame someone or some community for this.

    And the most important thing…..before trying to change anything, anyone must sniff the consequescens of the changed situations. This would require much thinking about the whole dynamics of mass psychology. Try to think that first, before being flown away in feminist thinking.

    The whole question boils down to the old question of computers,ie, tradeoff between security and features.
    So, you have to have optimised choice between desires and practial reality. But before you choose anything, let me ask a very simeple old question………
    Have anyone got happiness through desires ever, whether women or men ?????????

  7. I am sure you have been on this blog earlier (looking at your ideas, there is not reason to believe that you are some other Vinay Khaitan).

    And if you are the same person, you very well know that your fantastic ideas on this issue are simply not acceptable to the owner of this blog.

    Finally on this generic idea of seeing what “is” instead of what “should” – if human beings had always thought of what “is” instead of what “should” we would have been living in Jungles, eating raw animals (or probably not even that. Since even to come up with the idea of eating animals, human would have needed to think that they “should” not remain hungry, when they “were” so.


  8. “And if you are the same person, you very well know that your fantastic ideas on this issue are simply not acceptable to the owner of this blog.”



  9. As a believer in Men’s Rights, it is a matter of great concern that not only are men not generally given this choice, but often this choice is not even considered something that they *should* have. It is sick and twisted to believe that only women deserve a choice in these matters, and that men must always be straitjacketed into society’s expectations.

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