It’s been a terrible, terrible day. Thanks to the peculiarly designed timetable for this part of the term, there was only one class today. And I absolutely do not know what to do after that! Studying is more and more proving to be a drudgery. No stimulation whatsoever. And somehow I do not know what to talk to people, if that is the way out of this boredom. Placements are the talk of the town these days, as any b-school student would know, and how it repulses me more and more everyday. No people it’s not that I do not want a good job in my life, yet this blurring distinction between placement and life is little too much for me to sustain.
After finishing Dr. Zhivago, I realized that though a fantastic work, it was rather dark, overall. And my mind needed some change. Voila! There was this novel “Villette” by Charlotte Bronte, lying with me for long now. Romantic, right? Grab it Jaya, and life can not be better for you. Damn it! Half-way trough the novel and all that is described is the lonely life of the heroine. Let any calamity fall upon her, why loneliness of all the things? I am not a masochist. It does not charm me to see the reflections of my own problems. A good movie? Well, that’s only three hours and life a is a bit too long 😦
I seriously thought I need people around me, who are capable of talking about something other than placements. If for no other reason than sheer ignorance about it. A friend from Navodaya days, now married, who had surprised me recently by calling up on my mobile, has been pestering me to come there. “Its nearby”, she told me. I call her up. How nearby? 5 hours bus journey! Period. Option deleted. What now! Nearest possible Local Guardians stay far enough so as not to make me feel enthusiastic about visiting them over a sunday.
Looks like these two years will make me understand fully well as to what Dr. L. Krishnan meant when she talked about sensory deprivation in her Psychology classes and told us that experiments have proved that people just can not take sensory deprivation. Yes, at times I almost feel as if I am in a state of sensory deprivation. Even if mind is not a sensory organ in conventional sense. (Sensory Deprivation is supposed to be far, far worse than social deprivation. )
Comments are disabled, because it is obvious this is no intellectual exercise. And knowing that someone else has been in a similar situation does not make me feel any better. As I said, I am not a masochist. Not a sadist either.