The original article seems to have started a chain reaction and it is only fair that I acknowledge the chain – so here it goes (in the reverse order – that is in the order I traced them!):
Okay, for the lazy ones – its about adopting a child. The particular case being one where the couple had a boy and they adopted a girl child (Go to the last link in the list above). Hats off to the bearers of change! More need not be said – many people have praised the idea and I do not have any better words to express the same.
I do not know how this article will go. I might actually appear to be playing a “devil’s advocate”, but the idea is not to advocate against this practice. Just that like any other social change – the bearers have to be strong people.
Motivation behind any such radical steps are almost always romantic (I am not using the word “romantic” in derogatory sense). They have to be – pragmatism often do not take you far in dreams. And yet the loftiest of the dreams require most pragmatic approach for making them a reality.
In the Hindi Movies, the adopted child is invariably more mature, more intelligent, more principled, more capable, more of everything positive. If a situation like this occurs, of course, there are the problems of “would you not tend to be partial towards your own child”? Sometimes, you might wonder if you did not give enough resource/attention to your own child or the child’s psychology might be difficult to deal with or there might be a few words from the society about not rearing your own child well for someone else’s. Still conscience would not give you much of pain. Considering the romantic idealism behind the decision, somehow, I feel it would not be all that tough a situation.
But what if the adopted child does not do well in life? And by the time he/she grows up, you do not know what to do about him/her? The societal attack would be worse for you and for the child, possibly- “you don’t even know the lineage of the child”, “the ungrateful child – wants to remain a burden for life” blah, blah. You have to get yourself through it. You have to be able to say that ups and downs in life have nothing to do with adopting a child, lineage known or unknown – anyone can have them. It is at that time that you have to be able to take his/her failures and you would take it for your own kid!
A smile is a pleasure to accept, a tear is a satisfaction to accept, a frustration/an irritation is tough to!
Point is to be able to stand up to the idea when romantic dreams betray!
Till it becomes a mass practice – those who are planning to do so, please ensure that you are strong enough and so are those who share the burden of decision with you. Otherwise you might abuse a noble principle and mar it in its infancy!