And I pity you…

Apologies to those for whom it is not intended.

You are carrying the load of the age of barbarism, when physical strength was everything. Those who had the physical strength survived. Your female counterparts would have all died in the battle of survival with, on an average, less physical power than you. You needed her for the survival of your species and for the satisfaction of your basic urges. So, you protected her – for your needs. She was grateful. She obeyed you. She made it her duty to obey you. Then came the age of civilization and now she was not so vulnerable. Physical power was not everything. Left on her own she could have faced the world and survived, but you had enough competition to face. You could not have let her become your equal in your field of expertise. You had developed a sense of power over her. It was too painful to let it go. You were seeing the changes, she was not. She was sitting inside the house you had made for her. So, you never allowed her to know that world was changing. That now she could break free. That the two of you could stand on equal footing. Instead you created new fears in her, you made rules of propriety for her. To ensure that she never breaks free. “Home is yours; children are yours; you are a goddess.” She accepted them. She found herself under your obligation. And outside you made sure that your own sex does not start treating her equal to you. And that they have enough troubles in store for her if she ever breaks free.

These people weren’t “you” of today. They were your ancestors. And I pity you because you are still carrying the burden. You do not know how to break free. Your better sense would have asked you behave otherwise, but then you will be an outcast, thanks to the standards set for you by your fore-fathers. Now you are bound by the rules of chivalry and sense of power created by them. But they rested on the proposition that she would never try to compete with you. You think you have done enough for her with your chivalry. But alas! She is not satisfied. She wants to do all you do and has shown that she can. And you are confused. “She” is not one person either. Some of them still want chivalry and want to accept your (forefathers’) rules. Some others don’t accept the rules, but still want chivalry (the most ridiculous class). And then those who do not want chivalry and won’t obey the rules.

You are confused, confused from the beginning to the end. The world has started shaking and shattering. You can not outrightly break free, accept and emphasize, “Do not obey the rules and No chivalry either. There is no need. There has been no need for long.” That will be forfeiting your sense of power too easily. You still see the potential of converting the ones in the second class to the first one. The third class still does not pose enough challenge for you. And yet you come across them. The best you know is to kick them out. Its too much of trouble to accept and encourage them. Because then the home will be yours too and children will be yours too and of course, none of that “Original Power”.

And nothing is turning out to be clear. For most part you are not even able to see what’s going on inside you. You only know that you are in a confusing world. You are in a pathetic situation.

If I lived in the heaven, I would have pitied you and nothing else.

You know why I get angry? Because I live in this world and in your confusion and pitiful state, the only class I can peacefully belong to is the first one. I get mocked if I go to the second class (deservedly) and kicked out if I belong to the third class (unjustifiably). No matter how pitiable creatures you are, you still run the world. You are my boss and peer and subordinates. And 80% of you are like that. You are poor creatures, you are unable to break free and that makes my breaking free so difficult.

But, if I lived in the heaven I would have pitied you and noting else.

Thanks to your chivalry, you often accept genuine insults from me. Thanks to the sense of power you do not know better than to flare up at genuine disagreements from my side. And then there are these uncontrollable natural urges, which have enslaved you. Oh! Poor, poor thing.

If I lived in the heaven I would have pitied you and nothing else.

I would have thought what a crazy place the world must be. Why should such pitiable creatures be forced to run the world? I would have thanked the almighty that I do not live in such non-sense place.

If I lived in the heaven I would have pitied you and nothing else.

I still pity you, but if I lived in the heaven I would have pitied you and *nothing else*.

Too bad, I live in this world.

If you are irritated, the primary purpose of this piece is fulfilled.

This entry was posted in Feminism, Imported from Old Blog by Jaya. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jaya

Jaya Jha is an entrepreneur, a techie, a writer and a poet. She was born and brought up in various towns of Bihar and Jharkhand. A graduate of IIT Kanpur and IIM Lucknow, she realized early on that the corporate world was not her cup of tea. In 2008, she started, one of the first print-on-demand publishing platform in India. She currently lives in Bangalore and divides her time between writing and working on her company's latest product InstaScribe ( with a vision to make it the best e-book creation tool. Blog: Twitter: @jayajha Facebook:

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