More “rational”?

Many people talked of “big picture” after my last post. It seemes to mean slightly different in different cases, but that is not a problem.

When you read what I write there in isolation (and miss the point that each word and sentence written there might have a history behind it), you can blame me of seeing just one side, talking too narrowly etc. etc. If you are indeed here for the first time that is not surprising. But when people know better, still do not read and understand the things properly and references therein, but must reposnd immediately, it becomes highly irritating. And when people deliberately choose to forget the context which they should have known, it becomes maddening.

This is not an excuse for deleting the comments from the last post. Those were deleted irrespective of who you are (since in most of the cases you choose to remain unindentified, I can’t even help it) depending on whether or not you got the point before responding (and it was my judgement of course).

Anyway, for those who think I am a whining feminist, who thinks women must get respect for the heck being women, you are wrong. No, I absolutely do not support such a view and I, personally, have no patience for chivalry. As I have mentioned in one of my comments, if possible, find some time to read – Being a Girl.

But what this does not mean is that you have a right to disrespect a woman, if she is not a super-woman. I do hope that the difference is clear. Not having particular respect for someone does not mean you will degrade or disrespect the person. No laws, no big social revolution is needed for you to have sense of not disrespecting your fellow human beings.

And yes, I am one person, who has not faced as much as some others face. Mostly because I come out as rather strong – yeah close to super-womanly for many of the people around me. (The purpose here is not to boast. Be patient and read further to understand what I am trying to point out.) Still I face it. And what this clearly means is that those who come out as normal face more. And this realization makes me more agitated. My anger, my frustration is not just for myself. Probably very little of it is for myself, because these things do not deter me much, but not every female can be a super-woman. Does that mean they deserve your utter disrespect? Many of them do get affected and disheartened. Why should they endure this for your “fun”?

Somebody talked of girls also enjoying their sexuality or something like that in one of the comments that was deleted. Yes, sex and food are the two basic needs of human beings. But does that mean that in 21st century we think of only these two things? If it were so, I would not be writing this blog and you would not be reading it. We are getting neither food, nor sex out of it (at least I am not). When this girl is playing, she is a sportwoman and is *NOT* enjoying her sexuality. When she is writing a program, she is a programmer, who is enjoying exercising her brain; she is *NOT* enjoying her sexuality. If you justify your silly actions by giving such crappy arguments, it clearly shows that you appreciate nothing but the sexuality in that girl, and this is what a *DISRESPECT* of the “person” in her is. I am not trying to declare the sexual aspects as a kind of taboo. But if the first thing in your mind on encountering a girl is sexuality, you are disrespecting her without even realizing what you are doing! This is the level of corruption of human mind we are dealing with.

Yes, you got it Jaya. And that’s why, you see, you must not blame us. Its the society buddy!

And I would paraphrase you – its not the society, it the cowardice in you. If you do not hoot as others do, if you do not use the language and do not show the attitude that others do, you are not hip and cool. You would be left out, you would miss the joy.

I would not even attempt to trivialize these problems. Of course, its not easy to be left out of your group. And that’s why there is some responsibility to be shouldered by you. But then why must you bother? You are not at the receiving end. And don’t you have so many other problems of life to take care of? See, the world expects too much out of men. The expectations from women is not so high. Men have too many demands on their time and energy. And little time we get for respite must be wasted on deciding how to behave towards women?

This is the thing for which I have no answer. I have to depend on your conscience.

Tell me, what a “big picture” means. If it is a picture which shares the responsibility with both the sexes, I couldn’t agree more. For my sex, I have talked quite some time back (The reference of the same article again.) But if it is a picture, which must leave you in a comfortable situation, it is the narrowest picture one can think of. That is not acceptable.

I might not be as strict regarding comments on this post, as the last one. But any shameless/meaningless defense is not to be accepted. World might be yours; the blog is still mine.

Finally to emphasize a part of my big picture – Mujhe Insanoon kee Tarah Jeene Do.

This entry was posted in Feminism, Imported from Old Blog by Jaya. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jaya

Jaya Jha is an entrepreneur, a techie, a writer and a poet. She was born and brought up in various towns of Bihar and Jharkhand. A graduate of IIT Kanpur and IIM Lucknow, she realized early on that the corporate world was not her cup of tea. In 2008, she started, one of the first print-on-demand publishing platform in India. She currently lives in Bangalore and divides her time between writing and working on her company's latest product InstaScribe ( with a vision to make it the best e-book creation tool. Blog: Twitter: @jayajha Facebook:

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