Men will be men?

So many of the IITK students/alumni in their blogs are talking about the recent “PEC incident”. Having heard of it from as many sources as could reach me and having read as much of those newsgroup postings and blog as I had patience for, overall its typical of those outbursts of students there, which are guided by rumours and rashness, rather than by cool headedness, reasons and planning. I am not saying that this did/should have happened or that did/should not have happened – because it is hardly possible to find out what exactly had happened and what all has been cooked up in the present mess.

Anyway, analyzing this chaos is not what provoked this post. One thing is almost certain as to where this started. Hooting – while a match was being played between two girls’ teams. But this is one thing which is almost being taken as granted. (My apologies for those select people who do otherwise – they do not need to read this post; its not for them.) “Men will be men” is how somebody defended it.

“Jaya, *you* are not going to start on all the stuff about respect, are you?”

Well, I am. I am going to do that. Why, why must this “men”hood remain as it is? Why must this sickness continued to be termed as “fun”? Why must women be treated as a “thing” to provide “fun” for you? And why must women take it for granted? Why must they be expected to endure it as such, if they are to be considered someone sensible? Why?

No, don’t give me any of those crap psychological and sociological and historical answers. I have heard enough of those. And the fact is that at best all they explain is how this thing came to be seen as acceptable, even inevitable, because “Men will be men”. They do not explain “why”. They can not explain “why”. Nothing, nobody can ever explain “why”. Because there is no answer to “why”. There is no reason why it should be this way. It is WRONG, its an injustice, its criminal!

And I hate you for this. I have always hated you for this. I have hated you when you have explained some of your adventures to me and I have nodded “smilingly”, “understanding” you. I have hated you, hated you with all my might, when I have consoled a woman that “Men are men” and that she must not lose heart. I had all the contempt for you in my heart when you try to “explain” what the world is like to me and when you have preached me as to how should I behave in the Man’s world, no matter how capable or whatever I am. I have hated you through all this. I have hated you when you have taken me for granted. I have hated you when you have not considered my problems to be problems, because you thought they are inevitable and must be solved by me without disturbing your world. I have hated you when you pretend all the respect in the world and hit back with your ego, if you find me even simply disagreeing with you. I hate you when you rejoice if I take some responsibility on myself for the betterment of the system and conclude that there must be nothing for you to be bothered with.I hate you when you look at an outburst like this and say condescendingly “Once again!”

I hate you. And still if I go on as usual, its because if I go around blabbering out my hatred instead, it would hurt no one but myself, physically and mentally. But that does not change the fact that I hate you, hate you for all this and more. And neither does it acquit you of your crime.

And mind you NO NONSENSE COMMENTS on this post. If anything crap appears here, it will be deleted. So, do not waste your time/energy in generating stupid responses. And no SYMPATHIZING either, if you can not EMPATHIZE.

If you must feel hurt like you feel for every tit and bit, go sue me, but no nonsense here. If you must feel how arrogant and insulting I am being to you, never come back to this blog, but no nonsense here.

You can spend your life counting how often have I hated you. And I will continue hating you till “Men will be men”.

This entry was posted in Feminism, Imported from Old Blog by Jaya. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jaya

Jaya Jha is an entrepreneur, a techie, a writer and a poet. She was born and brought up in various towns of Bihar and Jharkhand. A graduate of IIT Kanpur and IIM Lucknow, she realized early on that the corporate world was not her cup of tea. In 2008, she started, one of the first print-on-demand publishing platform in India. She currently lives in Bangalore and divides her time between writing and working on her company's latest product InstaScribe ( with a vision to make it the best e-book creation tool. Blog: Twitter: @jayajha Facebook:

One thought on “Men will be men?

  1. Since, for whatever reason, I’ve ended up reading this post, I have to respond; the comment is beyond late and will probably be deleted immediately, it doesn’t matter.

    I do not know the details of the issue that caused the outburst, yet any sane, rational human being will decry in equal measure the traits highlighted.

    Yet hating the owners of those traits, NO, … then the only solution left will be to line up the guilty and shoot them down as Hitler convinced his men to do.

    His/her abominable characteristics notwithstanding, every human being, man or woman, HAS to be innately good, otherwise everything breaks down.

    NO, only the abhorrent traits deserve the revulsion if any real reformation has to happen, NOT their owner; and as long as the two are not separated, we are doomed to only more hatred.

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