While I was leaving IITK after convocation, try as I might, I was simply unable to feel that I am leaving the place and that my relations with it shall be different forever now. An alumnus, but no, not that student again, who has spent so many important moments at this place. I had no extra-ordinary feeling. It was almost as if I was going home for another mid-sem break. I was telling myself again and again that its all over now, but the feelings won’t stir.
But when I went there last weekend, through the same road, the road which had brought me to hall 2 reporting desk the first time I had stepped in there, the feeling was intense. The feeling of something being over, of something so close, so much a part of your existence being over for ever overpowered me. Reminded me of something I had written long back – “Kal tak Jo Galiyan Pehchani Thee, Aaj Unke Liye Mehmaan Hoon Main”. It has still not become so strange. Many of the friends are there. It being a Sunday, could not meet any of the faculty members, but was already running short of time to meet everyone. Still…
Its such a crazy thing to feel – it could not have gone on for ever. I certainly would not have wanted to stay there for ever at any cost. That in my daily life I was even bored of several things. And IITK had come in my life after 17 early years… Why should it become so much a part of my life that it should surprise Karishma (so, Jaya can get sentimental about something!!)?
But then it did – and that’s where the magic lies. Can not separate out things that made it happen, it was a blend of so many things that led to the situation. And when I get so overwhelmed with feelings, I have to go back to the same writing of mine –
“Kaafi Hai Ki Yaad Kar Liya Maine Beete Hue Samay Ko
We Yaadein Bhay Ke Waqt Mujhe Banayengi Abhay Jo”
(Its enough that I remembered the time past, the memories which would make me fearless when there is something to fear.)
And the last line is so true. Memories of IITK would make me fearless in so many situations.