Women Liberalization in India

If you are the kind who makes use of the “Categories” feature of this blog (which I have so labouriously created), you might wonder as to why is this categorized into “Time Pass”. I am afraid, but there is no way to find that out except by going through the post. Of course, you might want to decide that it is not important for you to find out the reason. In that case, of course, you can skip.

Ok- so what is it about women liberalization in India. Once upon a time there was a country called India and women were terribly helpless in Indian society. They used to get married whem they came of age and once married, their fates were tied to their husbands. The man may beat his wife, abuse her, not care for her and do whatever else, she had no way out, but to accept things as such. She could not have left him. The society would have outcasted her.

But then came the changes. Women were allowed not only to break up with their husbands, but also to re-marry.

The author of this piece has been lucky enough to be born in this age.

Remember “Closest to God” – Last time the rumours got me married? Apparently, I have been divorced after that and have gotten married again! It certainly is not the news of the same marriage, because the other person to whom the credit is being given to is different from the description of my potential husband in the earlier story.

Won’t you congratulate me, dear readers?

Anyway, I guess the description of the kind above is likely to confuse people (and rumours need no rationale) – let me put it straight. (I am using this channel, since the number of curious people is far more than what I can handle through mails – particularly at this point of time when I am bogged down with work!) So, dear friends and foes – I have not been married, nor am I going to be so in near future. Please remain patient. I am not a celebrity and do not need to get married furtively. Whenever, that is to happen – all of you will know and will get due to chance to do all the work that a marriage entails. Happy?

If you are one of those who have heard “something” like this from “someone”, may be you would help the stomach-ache of that “someone” by sending him/her a link to this post.

Thank you!!

Yours sincerely

Jaya Jha

P.S. This time the category in only “Time Pass” and not “Cribbings” as it was earlier. So, rest assured, it has been taken in “right” spirit (sarcasm intended).

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12 thoughts on “Women Liberalization in India

  1. Hey Jaya,

    First to begin with I would like to tell you that it is your wonderful decision to not to marry so soon and also with the career point of view my professional suggestion is first complete your MBA and then do at least one year job and become completely self independent (Two years). Then you will have a feeling of independence in you and also a practical experience of the world. Then after this decide your life according to your choice. Also spend as much free time you have and don’t get disturbed due to these postings or email you read or get first concentrate on study and then anything else.

    Now come to liberalization about which you are misinterpreting the things. Let’s first see what you have written about it

    “They used to get married when they came of age and once married, their fates were tied to their husbands. The man may beat his wife, abuse her, not care for her and do whatever else, she had no way out, but to accept things as such. She could not have left him. The society would have outcasted her.”

    Now see, the earlier time was more peaceful and beautiful than today about which you are explaining, again what is peaceful and beautiful it is a matter of perception that we feel. What you have explained is a one side representation of the earlier time. If you carefully observe, forget the time consider any time whether it is Stone Age, Post Stone Age, Bronze Age, Iron Age, Neolithic Age, Nordic Bronze Age, so many ages. In every age (time) they are full of so many things. There are some good aspect and also some bad aspects of it. If you are defining some thing that means you should explain it fully (every aspect). Then it will give a complete idea to your reader about that time or age. In your comment you have only picked which I guess was just 5% to 7% cases of the whole. I remember as I have studied about that age in which the female was so much respected. Work of any person was not supposed to complete without her wife (life partner). It is called the “Ardh” I mean the half, even the god in Indian culture, the Shiva which is called the most powerful god, is also known as “Ardhnarishwar” means half man and half woman. The complete meaning is that “even he is incomplete without female”.

    It is your as usual nature of blaming everything on the society which I have also pointed out in one of my earlier comment. “You should be open hearted and open minded if you want to understand the complete situation of any thing”. Now you are telling that people of that time did not love to their wife. How many such cases you have seen in your life and what is their percentage. Ok I will not talk about your parents as you will feel bad about it. So I would like to give you an example of my parents. For me they are ideal couple and I love them so much. It is not that they never fight or saying some hard word to each other but what I observe that even when they had some confusion then for some time they may be saying some hard word to each other but after some time everything goes off as if never happened such things earlier.

    You will see this type of strange relationship, which you can not feel at this stage. How can I illustrate you this? Okay. May be it is not a good example but it will give you at least feel of this. You remember that story in which a guy came to meet a girl and gave her some flower. May be that girl really likes him or not I don’t know. After that the same guy tells her so many hard words but the girl doesn’t feel bad about it and similarly the girl tells him so many hard words (due to small confusions, anger etc) but that guy doesn’t feel bad about it. You call it any thing say some attraction and then amplify this feeling to several large factors and then in this context try to visualize the things. You will be able to understand the things more clearly.

    Now coming again on the topic, what you have blamed directly on the society. Everything you have explained that was only few exceptions and nothing else. Female were so much respected. Some restrictions were there on the women I agree but they were only to keep balance between husband and wife. Similar restrictions were also there on Husband too. People were suppose to not to do marriage more than once and the one he was marrying must always be taking care of her as much he could. Muslim community do not follow this but even in them the person who marries with many woman, he takes care of every one and If a person is doing some wrong behavior like beating her, showing some wrong behavior with her then the good people of the society always try to guide that people and in the extreme case if these things doesn’t work then the head of the community (today court) punish that guy.

    These things were happening in the earlier age and the amount or the percentage of this was very small. On the other hand if we see the good side of that age. It was very beautiful and far more peaceful than today’s age, where people make relationship only to fulfill their selfishness. Earlier the male and female who had started their life they were continuously supporting each other without any ego feeling that I am woman and I am superior than man or a man that I am a man and I am superior than woman. These things were there but they had their own meaning. It didn’t need to impose on each other but in today’s world you will see it at every place, I can not keep my self away from it and I also can not think that you will be far away from this feeling.

    Ok.. Now come to today’s world. The writer of the topic of this blog who feels lucky enough to be born in this age? Why it is so? Because she thinks that every thing is just a joke and nothing else. But I guess this world is not as she is thinking. She needs to learn more about the practical world, more about the feelings, relations. These things will not be so easy for her to realize at this moment but may be at later stage she will surely understand this.

    One more thing that is also sure about the world. As nature balances each forces and it is self sustained similarly the world is also self sustained. As you behave with this world this world gives similar returns so no one needs to be worry about any thing (give and take policy).

    My exam is near so more later.

    Byeeee,
    LAX

  2. Laxmi: This comment was totally unwarranted. Neither am I seeking advice on when and how to get married, nor am I getting disturbed, not am I interested in this compariosn of old times and new times since the post was for the sake of sarcasm.

    The impulse is to deleted this comment, but I will let it remain so that you think twice before you make an irrelevant comment next time.

  3. It is good that you are a hard girl and also my intention was nothing like that. What I wrote was just on the topic only, you can not directly blame on the society without much reason. It doesn’t matter if it is of interests to you or not.

  4. Laxmi: It would do you some good to go to a dictionary and look for the meaning of the word ‘sarcasm’. This post was not a serious one and was not at all intended to depict any society of any place at any point of time. And hence all you have written goes totally out of context. You are not only making a fool of yourself by posting such comments, but also irritating me to hell. In simple words, since it is not possible for you to understand my way of writing, please refrain from writing comments on my blog.

    Thanks

  5. Hey Jaya don’t be so angry. This comment was not as serious as you understand. I wrote the comment in the relax mood. I was just answering your comment in which you were saying —

    Ok- so what is it about women liberalization in India. Once upon a time there was a country called India and women were terribly helpless in Indian society. They used to get married whem they came of age and once married, their fates were tied to their husbands. The man may beat his wife, abuse her, not care for her and do whatever else, she had no way out, but to accept things as such. She could not have left him. The society would have outcasted her.

    Don’t take it serious. I am not fighting with you I was just saying the things with the different perspective.

    Hope it will make you Happy a bit :)

  6. almost forgot to ask…when is the grand treat for the two marriages plus divorce (it’s assumed as a happy event coz it led to a second marriage).
    The treat must be commensurate atleast with the “expected future status” of the bride (since little is publicly known about the status of the groom(s), it is hoped that the bride will factor in his “current/future” status [whichever is better] as well when treating).
    Inform time and venue at convenience.

    Strictly, No Excuses whatsoever will be accepted this time.

  7. You are welcome to my room anytime Ayan! I have at least 12 pairs of old, but very tough shoes/sandles in my room… Together they will make a nice treat…
    :-D

  8. Yippee!!! one more added to the list of ladies in GH who want to target practice with their sandals on me. But a practical constraint, given the accelerating pace of increase in the length of this list, (much as I would like to), it is difficult for me to go from room to room for these treats. So given your skills at organising things, you can set the thing up, inform everybody, and let me know the time & venue asap. And I’ll be there 10 mins in advance. Also, in case you want to target practice before the D-day, you can find dartboards with my face in many of these ladies’ rooms. :-D

    >= 12 pairs…fetish for sandals/shoes…thanks for this great ammo for my future comments ;-)

  9. The underlying message in you “shoes/sandles” comment just struck me!!
    In North Indian marriages don’t they traditionally have this elaborate “joota” throwing ritual(there was even a “joota” based marriage song if I remember in Maine Pyar Kiya or Hum Aapke H.K.)

    Hmmm so this was the subtle message to the world…to start looking forward to your third marriage from now on (and that this time it won’t be a secret, since subtle broadcasts have already started from your blog). So the “expected real treat” – not the “joota” business – now gets grander ( >= “treat(t-1)” + “Divorce(2) Treat” [assumed as happy event coz it'll be leading to a third marriage]+ “Marriage(3) Treat”).

    But my heart goes out for Groom(2)…hope he reads your blog (& comments) and understands subtle messages (not all ppl are as intelligent as me ;-)

    Hoping sincerely that you are 3rd time lucky, :-D :-D

  10. some people thinks that taking divorse means woman becoming aware,selfdependent,confident– you may be right but wat is the gautantee that she will be treated well nicely in next house.

    if you can reply my questions i’ll feel great regard to you……………….

    1. if you will be harashed/exploited, who is responsible (you or a person exploting)?

    2. why some-one try to exploit you?
    what is the problem ?
    3. every body know the problem and there are many government and ngo programmes but not get success,why?

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